Finally....

Dog-Powered Vehicles Finally Arrive!

Posted by Frank Meyer - Monday, December 29, 2008 12:06 PM

Ever dream of a world where humans are pulled around in carts by dogs, and never have to bother walking again? Well, thanks to useless technology and the good folks at Neatorama we have arrived at your dreamland.

Yes, a new super steering apparatus (pictured above) allows you to attach your dog to your scooter, bike or skateboard so he can pull you along. Everyone wins, really. The dog gets exercise, you get no exercise, and humans strike another blow at the oncoming canine overthrow many have feared for years.

Inspiration for the Joker?

I came across a disturbing video today. Check it  out for yourselves.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qtBF5-rLyow&feature=related

Wow.

Man Kills a Child with 'Mortal Kombat' Move, Pleads Guilty

Posted by Sinden Lee - Tuesday, December 16, 2008 9:31 AM

This is so beyond stupid and negligent, it's truly sad to report....

Two teens have been charged as adults and accused of beating a seven year old girl to death while imitating the 'Mortal Kombat' video game.

Lamar Roberts, 18 years old and his girlfriend, Heather Trujillo, 17 years old, were babysitting her half-sister, Zoe Garcia, at her home, when they were wrestling, karate kicking, punching and goofing off.

However, court records also indicate that a witness saw Roberts kick and body slam Garcia, but didn't realize how severe his hits were because he was drunk.

Garcia lost consciousness.

The couple tried to wake her up by placing her in the bathtub, even cracking an egg in the child's mouth to make sure she "wasn't messing with them."

Autopsy report found Garcia with a broken wrist, 20 bruises and bleeding under the spine and in her brain.

Roberts has pleaded guilty to child abuse-knowingly/recklessly causing death, and Garcia's half-sister pleaded guilty to child abuse-negligently causing death. However, Trujillo's prison sentence is suspended if she completes six years in youth offender center (for teens who have committed a violent juvenile crime).

Again, this is a case that has nothing to do with a video game, but a person who clearly lacked good judgment. Karate kicking and punching a seven-year old is never a good idea.

MILK Review.

Out of 5 stars, I award this film 6.

What Gus Van Sant, Sean Penn and a brilliant cast have done here is Outstanding, Triumphant and Necessary.

This film doesn't just tug at your heart strings, it exposes your eyes, your ears, and at that instant your hearts to a poignant matter. It sits you down in order to allow you to grasp a deeper, more complete understanding of the history of the Gay Rights Issue. More than that, it allows you to identify with the prevalent human struggle for understanding, freedom and acceptance but above all, the basic, innate compulsion for love. This film's message goes beyond the Gay Rights Issue, It's about the humanity, It's about acknowledgment, It's about recognition, It's about acceptance, It's about hope. Not just for any one minority but for everyone. Do not miss this film! Despite whichever side of the fence you stand, watch this film and consume it's message.  Let it weigh your character, Let it measure your heart and I can only pray it finds you wanting equality.

Please, I proudly implore you, go out and see it. 

People.

Why try? 

Life.

In the eternal words of Jim Stark, "Life can be beautiful."

But only if you make it so. 

Today I start my new job and it's given me kind of boost

or a kick in the ass, so to say, and I done sitting on the

sidelines. It's time to pursue the things and the people

I want. Today is a brand new day and like Jim Stark

I'm not going to waste it.

Hunger.

It's been two whole days now, without food. I'm so hungry it literally hurts

I broke down and ate a bunch of my friends food on thanksgiving.

But since then, nothing.

I've been eating mints and gum to distract me from the hunger

Sleeping and surfing the net help too. But i wake up in pain.

I feel bad eating all my friends food but I have no money

I don't start work until wednesday.

I must feed! pant*................

Captain America.

Captain America, for all intents and purposes is kind of a quintessential hero. In Marvel's flock, I would equate him to Batman. Cap, is by no means Batman, I do imagine they would see eye to eye on a lot of things. It would be an incredible match up, though thats a subject for another day. This particular tirade is about the upcoming film based on my buddy Steve Rogers, aka Captain America. 

The most important aspect of this franchise being successful would be the necessity of having an incredible, compelling and relatable story. Now I have no clue as to exactly what that story is going to be. From what I've read, it will be a World War II era film, in order to establish the characters origin. That might be tough to do, and it might not be. However, I am going to focus on the man behind the mask of Cap. I've narrowed it down to two contenders:

1. Patrick Wilson, 35, The man can act. 6'1"    pictured above in black and white.

2. Jensen Ackles, 30, The dude can act. 6'1"    pictured above in color.

Now Patrick Wilson may seem like the definite pick, but he's already Owlman in the soon to be released Watchmen film, which will be one to remember. Thus creating a quagmire as far as his believability as Cap, since I conjure he will so readily be remembered for his performance in Watchmen. Patrick Wilson is an exceptional actor, not to mention the dude looks a lot like Paul Newman. 

Jensen Ackles has remained hidden from the general public on television, he is still a fresh face after years of success and stardom on shows like Days of our Lives, Dark Angel, Dawson's Creek, Smallville, and most notably Supernatural. He's also an incredible actor with a breadth of range and ability. He is a young but seasoned actor. Both Wilson and Ackles are taller than Robert Downey Jr, which would play well for the camera when the two meet face to face in the Avengers film. Though Marvel seems to be casting older actors for their current line-up of films. I would love to Jensen Ackles on the big screen as Cap. Time will tell. There's my two cents. 

Now, deliberate!

People Are Fucking Repugnant.

If you haven't already heard about the tragedy that took place on November, 28th 2008, at the Green Acres Mall in Valley Stream, New York. Allow me to share it with you. On that day a man, Jdimytai Damour, employed through a temp agency as a maintenance worker for the Wal-Mart at the Green Acres Mall, generously tried to help with the crowd that was forming in front of the doors at 4:00 am that morning. Doors that would soon be broken down by an unruly mob of hungry shoppers, simply looking for a deal. Jdimytai Damour, 34, was killed. Trampled in fact, to death. 

I'd like to share with you now an excerpt from the New York Times. 

"When they were saying they had to leave, that an employee got killed, people were yelling, 'I've been in line since yesterday morning,' "Ms. Cribbs told The Associated Press. "They kept shopping."

A statement which brought me near the verge of vomit.

These people callously discarded a human life! For what!?! Material possessions, some of which will probably be returned. This man, was a seasonal worker hired to some some maintenance work that day, trying to put food on his family's table and now he is dead. Why!?! Because some fat middle class slags wanted to spend their husbands money and their wives money on toasters and televisions. So that some corpulent kids could play video games for another few months. A mans life discarded for the most meaningless of  paraphernalia. I hope each of those perpetrators are haunted for the rest of their natural Cheeto guzzling, holiday governed and miserable Oprah filled lives. 

A child no longer has a father as a result of some overweight imbecile wanting first hands on fifteen dollar DVD player. A wife is without her husband in the interest of the apathetic and  materialistic blindness of an irrelevant need for cheap household appliances, which is so deeply ingrained in so many people across the world and especially in this country. It is utterly revolting and today I am not proud to be a part of the human race.

If you can stomach it, Follow the link to read the full story.

http://www.nytimes.com/2008/11/29/business/29walmart.html?ref=business

THE DARK KNIGHT, 11th viewing.

This film is so opprobriously brilliant it hurts. Christopher Nolan can do no wrong. I would absolutely be 100% okay if there was never another Batman film. Why? Because this one is pitch perfect. Why try and add to perfection. Heath Ledger, Christian Bale, Gary Oldman, Aaron Eckhart, Michael Caine, Maggie Gyllenhaal and Morgan Freeman. Within two films these people accomplished so very much. Nolan and his cast were able to establish where Batman began, what he became and what he will be. Along with a relevant and subtle social commentary. Unless the story for a possible sequel is unquestionably perfect and doesn't take away from what the past two films have built. And only if Nolan returns to do it, can it be a worthwhile endeavor and not just a stab at milking more money from the profuse richness of the mammilla dangling on the breast of this franchise. The studio has already made so much money from The Dark Knight and continues to and will continue to, especially with the DVD hitting on the 9th of December. I say leave it to Chris Nolan, allow the decision to rest in his hands and allow me to continue watching this morsel of cinematic magnificence. 

WANTED Review

So it took me almost a year but I've finally watched Wanted. I'd heard the worst reviews from friends and strangers alike. Though it wasn't until I finally sat down and watched it for myself that I came to know it's true grit or it's true colors as some might put it. Let me pretense the rest of this review with my overwhelming respect for James McAvoy, in recent months I have grown quite respectful of his ability and his craft. After watching him as Macbeth in Shakespeare Retold, I have come to the verdict that he can do no wrong. That being said, I sat down and I watched Wanted.

Going in to film I had been told that McAvoy's Glasgow accent was quite audible in his speech, but I never once noticed it. Honestly, have you heard the guy speak normally? He's exhaustively Scottish, I thought his accent was pitch perfect. Like I said, he can do no wrong. As for the film itself, well, It's an action flick and not by any means grounded in realism, so, keep that in mind when you hear about how ridiculous the curving of bullets was or the aspect of the loom of fate. All that aside, this movie is great. 

Solid action, solid cast, solid acting, solid FX, an absorbing plot twist, that I knew had to be coming but I didn't expect to play out the way it did. If any of you have read the comic books or graphic novel upon which this this franchise is based you would give this film a round of applause for staying as true to the source material as this film does. Point of fact being, you couldn't possibly get away with making a film that was completely honest to the source material because its so vulgar, dark and brilliant it would have to be rated X. 

In conclusion I applaud and endorse Mr. Timur Bekmambetov, on a great film and I applaud the cast on job well done. This film has more than earned my vote.

To do Sunday.

1. Turn on some music and start cleaning this place before everybody gets home.

2. Read more of the employee manuals for work. 

3. Find more gum or mints to curb the hunger for food.

4. Shower.

5. Light scented candle to remove man stink from apartment.

6. Actually read employee manuals.

7. Read books from independent curriculum.

8. Write reports on what I've read.

9. Watch more Superman and write from inspiration.

10. Break down and eat more of roommates food since i have none of my own.

11. Watch TV and Movies online.

I know what you are thinking.

Paul Etuk has a blog. I know....I know, I promised I would take the lives of six orphans before I got one of these and here i stand with the blood of six orphans on my hands. Just by being here you are as much responsible as I am. So you might as well enjoy yourself. Crack open a brew and read.